Catch up

Hello, home. I’m back. I missed home like I haven’t been here all month long. Months ago, I was praying for a new job to work on. I resigned from my first hospital nursing job to focus on my NCLEX-RN exam review, and to get out of being sick and tired from the merciless system the hospital offered. It was a year of pain and learning without the right compensation and promotion. Still, I am thankful for the opportunity to grow and be awakened.

And finally, I passed the NCLEX-RN exam although my license in IL hasn’t been released yet. To God be the glory! I hope that soon I could officially celebrate this triumph with people close to me. However, a part of me says to stay and work here in my beloved country. But I will not give up my dream to travel the world. And so I prayed for opportunities to earn the same as what I will when I work abroad.

Then my prayer was answered. Here came the opportunities to be a nurse educator, and simultaneously, build a business that would get me faster towards my dreams in life.

I was able to work as a reviewer for nursing board examinees. I was having a hard time reviewing all the concepts myself and to deliver it well for I don’t have any teaching experience then. But by grace, I made it through all my scheduled class.  I am thankful that God has provided this nursing-related job when I was actually considering to get back to BPO or even other office type of jobs. 

Soon, the local NLE review will be over and I don’t know if I’d be given the chance at least to teach for NCLEX-RN examinees again. Nevertheless, it’s rewarding to be able to travel places (Cebu, Davao, Baguio, and Manila, of course!) through this job and reach out to our future RNs at the same time.

Anyway, with that, I’ll have more time working on my business. I’ve been learning a lot and I look forward to succeeding on this venture. I want to push myself while I’m young and able in order to realize all that I dreamed of for me and, most importantly, for my family. I strongly believe that our family’s situation (living miles apart because of work) will soon be over as I establish my own business strong. I pray that blessings will pour down on me and my family and that one day, we’ll live together and experience abundance in Christ without compromise.

God speed! And to God be the glory!

This is my Weight Management story

FYI: I started my weight management last March 1. The measurement last Feb 26 was no different when I did it Feb 28, the day before my program started.

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I am neither a fan of WEIGHT LOSS programs nor I need the lose to begin with but I wanted to seriously help people find a REAL SOLUTION for unhealthy weight gain, which can result to obesity. Yes, there’s nothing wrong being fat but let’s face the fact that FAT, especially uncontrolled gaining of it, predisposes us to a lot of diseases as we age. So I dare took on a program with a “NO STARVING, NO EXERCISE, NO REBOUND” claim.

The numbers above are measured with the Omron Karada Scanner (google it if you want). In a span of two weeks, I’ve HEALTHILY LOST WEIGHT. But over and above the weightloss itself are my 1) body% FAT LOSS, which the machine was unable to read probably because the result was too low to count; and my 2) MUSCLE GAIN, which amazingly brought me to my 40% goal or above, which many of my friends say was outstanding.

NO STARVING. I eat 3 COMPLETE and BALANCED MEALS in a day with the program. Alongside are the supplements that 1) blocks fat and carbohydrates; 2) controls carbohydrates cravings; 3) burns body fat, increases muscle mass and shapes your body; 4) increases metabolism; and 5) replaces a meal (a balanced meal replacement that increases metabolism even more). Moreover, I have never eaten adequate amounts of fruits and vegetables in my entire life until I took on this program. I was able to get back eating breakfast as well and I have been learning more about nutrition. Most importantly, it has helped me to recover from my unhealthy eating habits.

NO EXERCISE. Now this is the claim I really am challenged with. But it doesn’t mean you can live a sedentary lifestyle because the program, again, promotes health and definitely a sedentary life is unhealthy. Just so you know, my exercise is mostly walking from my house to the bus stop, which takes me around 5 mins, and other walking exercises as I travel to places/offices I needed to go. The rest of the day, I sit in front of my laptop or roll around the bed as I read books, and cook meals if you count it as exercise, and other usual household chores done in a humbly small bungalow house I live at.

NO REBOUND. This is a common problem for people who strive to work hard at a fitness gym or jog kilometers after kilometers in the thought of losing weight. Once they stop exercising (because of LACK OF TIME or other rationalizations you might think of in excuse for not exercising), they go back to their “bloated” state. Although this is too early for me to address, I am confident that with the LIFESTYLE CHANGE this program taught me, I would surely be living healthy for long.

I have heard testimonies that after they took it for 3 months (which is the average span of the program), they can have “cheat-days” (like when attending parties or buffet gatherings) whenever they want but easily lose the unhealthy gains as they get back to the HEALTHY LIFESTYLE this program taught them, and with the aid of the outstanding supplements available as mentioned above. I’ve personally met people who did the program and have ended it for a year or so but they look good as newly grads of the program, and even HEALTHIER AND YOUNGER.

If in a span of two weeks I was able to achieve such results, all the more YOU COULD DO IT! You knew that I wasn’t motivated to lose weight, but how about you who wanted to START LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE? So if you want a PERMANENT SOLUTION FOR UNHEALTHY WEIGHT GAIN, or you know friends who are struggling with weightloss or suffering from weight gain problems, I’m so much available to help you all out! And this is serious. It’s not just about LOOKING GOOD these days but actually LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE INSIDE AND OUT!

And what will you expect in a span of two weeks? How much more in a month or so? YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS!

30 letters, 30 days: day 25 — the person you know that is going through the worst of times

Madame,

I can’t think of words to comfort you but I know you’ll get along with all that has happened. It’s hard when you have put all your faith in one thing you know will never last. Now, the end came and your dreams with it would not happen anymore.

Your face glows a little every now and then but I still feel your bitterness despite the smiles and laughter you try to project. And sad to say, all I hear from you is not something, a plan perhaps, that would sustain you from there on.

I am having a hard time looking for options for you but the most I could do is to include you in my prayers. Yes, you always have been with it despite the many false accusations and embitterment you have for me.

Maybe life’s teaching you to mind your own business and get a life of your own. So please, listen even just for a minute.

Gratitude Attitude

The past week has been tough for me. Coming from five days of intense praying and meditation a week before, I thought days to come will get better. Not even my perception swayed with the strong winds that blew me. I did not expect God to reveal areas in my life that I thought I was over from. There were thoughts I denied, and others I had suppressed rather than repress. The feeling was worse that I hardly noticed the healing I already had.

At first I thought I was doing the wrong choices and was heading the wrong way. But it dawned on me that this is just a recap of what and where I was. Then reality slapped me back to my most awakened state - the reality that I have made it a long way already, and that I don’t have to continue looking back.

I am thankful despite the ill-feeling it brought me. My dreams might be far from reach yet but they are never impossible. And definitely I’ll not make it at least to halfway if I get myself stuck again with the past that gets bitter as I come to taste more of la dolce vita.

Lesson learned: Be grateful even when we feel like we’re pulled back to our old miserable lives. It’s just a review of who we once were. Little do we know how it will make us feel more joyful as we realize how far we already gone to - from where the shit we’ve been through before to the goodness that we already have touched.

And then we’ll make it again to glory as we shake the dust off and head on to where the Father leads us.

A decent sleep can let you through the pain and an awakening can make you start anew. Come another daylight, like a ricochet, we’ll fire away. Fire away.

Death, no sudden

“For the wages of sin is death…”

I’ve been bugged by this Scripture lately. It was brought about by the death of two of my neighbor’s relatives (well technically my neighbors too since they reside often there) and my friend’s brother. No, I’m not saying they’ve been sinful and all because all of us are (I am sinful - raised my hands first). But I would like to share what I think has to be shared to those in need.

“The wages of sin is death…” Jesus Christ died for us so that we are made right before God, our Father. And yes, since Christ’s death we can call God OUR Father. God made Himself Father to the world regardless of what sin we have committed. And in love, we do as He wills. And until the second coming of Christ, sin will remain on earth, as God allows, in order to have more people (who choose to sin) turn back to Him and live godly lives.

However, some of us question God why do people die? I for one have lost my dad almost seven years ago, and a portion of my mind asks God why it happened that early. He was a good man, a loving husband to my mom, and a gentle father to us. Still, God took him.

Was he sinful? Yes, and again, just as I am…just as WE ALL ARE. And yet we were spared. God lead me to a thought that this is somehow a picture of why God sent Jesus to DIE FOR US. Maybe our relatives died for our own sake. So does this mean we should blame ourselves for our relative’s SUDDEN DEATH? No we shouldn’t, and, perhaps, no death is sudden since sin is still crawling freely here on earth. Rather, this reminds us that as long as we live, we have the chance to redeem ourselves and our household and meet them all in heaven. 

“Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” Acts 16:31.

With that written, my trouble was relieved. I once told my friend that I was worrying about if I’d meet my dad in heaven (as if I’m so much confident I will be there) as I tried to recall how my dad lived his Christian life. He wasn’t fond of attending church. He was fond of drinking a lot (and if not for his high alcohol tolerance he was almost a drunkard). He also smoked heavily (that lead him closer to his death) and probably other vices I dare not to ask from people around him (for I don’t want to hear what I must not).

The challenge for me (and for anyone as well) is how to put this life I am still living on into good use - one that would please God, my ultimate Father. I am amazed how God personally presented Himself and have taken over from where my father left. It was God’s will to made Himself known even though it took my family a hard time to accept and move on from our loss. He did not abandon us (Deuteronomy 31:8). And this promise God told His people keeps us holding on. And I cannot be more grateful as “His faithful love endures forever (Psalm 118:1).”

“For the wages of sin is death, but the FREE GIFT of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus, our Lord.” Romans 6:23 (NLT).

I miss you, dad. ‘Til we meet again.. in heaven.

While Walking

I’ve realized how comfortable I become that at times I just go to sleep without praying properly. I trust God so much that He always gets me covered that I don’t need to worry about anything. This attitude has made me less anxious but it somehow led me off a consistent communication with Him. “Search for the LORD and for his strength; continually seek Him (Psalm 105:4).”

It’s a fact (that saddens me) that we are living in a world with people speaking in a manner that shows how shallow a life can get. They start a conversation using foul languages, filthy topics, or by talking with people they hate not realizing how consumed they are with these thoughts. It’s better to delight in a moment of silence than waste my time in a senseless conversation. 

Know people by what they speak about. “What you say flows from what is in your heart (Luke 6:45).” That’s why I don’t usually start a conversation unless I know the person. I am not good in leading a bad topic to a decent one and it’s rude to stop talking just because my ears are not delighted. I’m a listener and much less of a speaker, I think.

Oh, I am a writer, rather. Or am I not?

Three thoughts in my mind (or probably in everyone’s):
a. God’s will, which is pure, holy, and just;
b. My own, which are sometimes weak and brought about my insecurities I have not fully unloaded since I came to Christ. And;
b. Satan’s suggestions, which come spontaneously as my actions - for he cannot read my mind but he can suggest evil depending on what I do. 

Be it not just some wandering but a journey that leads me to a better life. This battle for me ain’t over yet but I know that Christ already won for me and for all those who seek Him.

Another randomness.

Last day before another First

The last day of my 22nd year of existence is about to end and I couldn’t think of any other feeling than that of being so blessed. Looking back on my struggles in life, it amazes me as I realize how I’ve went through all of them. Indeed, time flies when you’re living in the moment.

Today was my first time flying on a plane. I am happy to have waited for such an opportunity to travel - for God has planned it perfectly as it is. I did not let any discouragement ruin my hopes of starting my tour in and out of this country. And it surely is a good start to know my country before landing onto others’ homeland. Here I am at Mactan, Cebu, despite the on-off bad weather - taking my time to unwind and shake all the dust off of me.

I just am thankful for my Mum who is always there to support and encourage me. She might be the typical worrier type of mother but she takes time to listen and understand my desires in life. Also, I thank my siblings, my two beautiful sisters, who are patient enough to deal with my impatience. And Martina, my dearly loved niece, who brings me delight no matter how exhausting my day has been.

Never my life would be easier without the help of my good ol’ friends who have seen me grow up from an emotional and rigid child to a tough and understanding man. They made things brighter when everything seemed to crash down on me. I need not mention names of a few people who brought me to my ultimate Savior, Jesus Christ, for God knows how thankful and blessed I am as they are able to bring lives like mine close to the Omniscient one!

Above all, I thank God for letting me know how to live a meaningful and fruitful life. Mine’s not as perfect as others but His presence puts everything in perfection. May I not part Your presence and that Your favor rest upon me and my family.

May all of you be blessed as well with God’s wisdom and strength as you achieve more things in life for the glory and honor of God. Amen.

Today

Just random

Just before July sets in, I wanted to look back on the first half of this year. It has been long and rough yet I have made it through by God’s grace. Being a grown up, as I’ve said to many, is so hard despite independently living (like that when your parents aren’t living with you) since my father died almost seven years ago. Until now, it seems like I’ve not gotten used to being on my own on almost all of the things I’ve gone through. There’s always this part of me that hopes that I’ve got people deciding things over instead of me pushing myself to choose what’s best to do.

Time flies so fast that I am about to start my eighth month of being a staff nurse, and still underpaid like most of my kind here in the Philippines. I am growing tired of being a floater since my original floor began being renovated. But I do find the light in this challenge - that I am capable of adjusting quick enough to tend to new patients every day and to work with different staff nurses all the time. Still, God knows how much I have to improve on my work habits and attitude towards this profession. Nursing is not my comfort zone but the fulfillment  I feel on every achievement is double than any of my forte in life.

All the more I am stressed with the things going on with my family and my home. I’ve been handling our finances (but not providing for it LOL) and it’s getting tougher every month with all the expenses we have to shell out. Misunderstandings here and there happen once in a while amongst us. And sharing the heaviest of our burdens with one another sometimes seem to drag everyone down. But I know that whenever we can’t seem to find a resolution, we just have to shut up, stay still and let God lead us.

Lastly, before I doze off, I want to say I have moved on from my recent love. Absence did not make my heart grow any fonder of her. Rather, it has allowed learning and healing to dwell within me. I had to actively move on and not just wait for the feeling to fade (ask me how. LOL). Still, at times I feel that longing to be in a meaningful relationship but I know it is not my time yet. Not any soon. And I appreciate all the things I have done that I would not be able to if my attention would be divided once more.

This time, I’d give a wise go to the opportunities bound for me. And maybe, some time from here, someone would see how much of a man I’ve prepared myself for my woman even though I haven’t seen (or known that it is) her just yet.

Good bye, June. Hello, July! It’s my month and it’s time to keep putting up good vibes.